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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29966427">Wild</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/PowerOverDrive/pseuds/PowerOverDrive'>PowerOverDrive</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Outsiders (1983), The Outsiders - S. E. Hinton</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Feels, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 02:35:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>15,266</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29966427</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/PowerOverDrive/pseuds/PowerOverDrive</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Pony and Johnny have both had their fair share of feelings or encounters with girls. Pony liking Cherry, Sylvia attempting to use Johnny, but their bond with each other could never be broken by any girl. Ever. After Johnny barely making it out alive from the church incident, Pony never left his side even for Cherry. So much time spent together, and a lot of that time alone...crazy, bizarre, but amazing and beautiful things can happen.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Johnny Cade &amp; Ponyboy Curtis, Johnny Cade/Ponyboy Curtis, Sodapop Curtis/Steve Randle</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. °Ponyboy°</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I was reading To Kill A Mockingbird in my room when suddenly someone put their hands over my eyes.</p><p>"Guess who?" It's Johnny.</p><p>"Johnny I know it's you, I heard Soda let you in," I say.</p><p>"Not my name..." He says.</p><p>"Johnnycake." I say.</p><p>"There you go," he says letting go. I scoff and roll my eyes. Ever since Johnny was released from the hospital he's been more playful and goofy, at least with me. He's no longer the sad kicked puppy, he's the playful and restless one that's always wagging his tail no matter what.</p><p>"What're we gonna do today?" He asks.</p><p>"I don't know," I say shrugging.</p><p>"How are you gonna invite me over and you don't know what we're gonna do?" I laugh and point to my backpack.</p><p>"We could study," Johnny stares at me and shakes his head.</p><p>"Nope, we're gonna go do something else." He grabs my hand and pulls me out of the house.</p><p>"Where're we going?" I ask giggling.</p><p>"You'll see," I had no idea where we're going so he held onto my hand to guide the way.</p><p>We started to go off the sidewalk and into trees. "Johnny the sun is setting-"</p><p>"Well hurry up!" He holds onto my hand tighter, and we start running. After getting poked by branches, getting itchy by all the grass, we finally reach a hill. "Here it is..." He sits down just in time for the sunset. I sit down next to him and watch with him. No wonder he seemed in such a rush, he didn't want to miss this. This is probably the best way I could ever see the sunset.</p><p>I lean on his shoulder and he wraps his arm around me as we continue to watch. It's so beautiful, he's so beautiful- wait what? I mean, the sunset, no-not Johnny. Duh. I mean yeah, he is handsome, nice hair, nice eyes, good smile, amazing lau- okay never mind!</p><p>ANYWAYS...the sunset is amazing. "Johnny how did you know about this place?" He looks down, with a sad expression.</p><p>"I uh-" he stops, and seems caught up in his words. "I don't want to upset you..."</p><p>"Johnny what're you-"</p><p>"I'm not him anymore...."</p><p>"Johnny calm down, you don't have to tell me,"</p><p>"No, no, I can do it." He holds back his tears and continues to stare at the ground. "A few days before we ran away, I wanted to leave, I wanted to leave and never come back, and I found this hill..."</p><p>"What's wrong with that, we've all wanted to run away before,"</p><p>"You don't understand what I mean,"</p><p>"What...?"</p><p>"I was looking for a place to jump, or t-to commit su-" He couldn't even finish his sentence before breaking down and crying.</p><p>"Johnny it's okay, shh it's okay, you're okay, I promise." I hug him tightly and he cries into my chest. I rub his back and hug him tighter. "Johnny you've changed, you're happier now. Darry loves you, Soda loves you, Steve loves you, I love you. Everyone does, you're okay Johnny I promise." He stops crying and his breathe steadies and he calms down.</p><p>"T-thanks Ponyboy," he says quietly. I sit up against a tree and pull Johnny close. We stare off into the sky and Johnny's arms go around my waist. "I wish we could be like this forever."</p><p>"I wish we could too."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. •Johnny•</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I woke up in Pony's arms remembering what happened. We stayed at that hill for who knows how long, and when we went over to Pony's, Darry was asleep, and Soda wasn't home. I could've sworn we fell asleep back to back, but now that I've looked around...Pony's arms were around my waist and his face is nuzzled in my neck.</p><p>He's so cute, and yes I did just call my best friend cute, because he is. And yes, I'm gay. I'm not ashamed but, I'm not gonna go off yelling it in the streets anytime soon either.</p><p>Pony isn't against gays, but I highly doubt HE is gay. He connected with Cherry pretty well, and...that might've been it, but it still happened. Me on the other hand, not so much. Dally's old girl, Sylvia, got all over me, it was sort repulsing, and Dally wasn't there to stop it, and I was in a state of mind where I couldn't even say hi without stuttering or being too shy. But luckily, Steve had my back and put an end to it real quick. But other than that, I've never felt anything for a girl. I lied once or twice before to make it seem like I have, but like I said, it was a lie. The person who makes my head spin is Ponyboy, but again, he's not gay.</p><p>I try and slip out of bed but Pony only pulls me closer and complains. "No, stay."</p><p>"Okay, I will." I say.</p><p>"Good." He says sleepily. Suddenly Pony sits up a bit, kisses my cheek and lays back down. My face turns red and gets hot. What the hell just happened? I turn a little, and Pony seems to be sleeping. So it was harmless right? Just some little silly mistake...right?</p><p>....</p><p>"Pony do you even know where we're going?" I ask.</p><p>"Nope." He asks.</p><p>"So are we supposed to get back?" I ask.</p><p>"We'll figure it out when we get to that point."</p><p>"Okay..."</p><p>We were walking through the midst of trees but we weren't going to hill by the looks of it. Randomly he stops and smiles.</p><p>"Here," he says.</p><p>"What's here?"</p><p>"Freedom, youth." I raise an eyebrow and he suddenly taps my shoulder and runs off.</p><p>"YOU'RE IT!" He yells.</p><p>"You little-!" I attempt to catch up with him, but that wasn't going to happen. Eventually, I lost my breathe and stopped and he was God knows where. "Pony? Ponyboy?!"</p><p>Out of nowhere I get tackled to the ground and Pony's on top of me. I screamed when this happened and Pony was giggling.</p><p>"Did I scare you?" He asks smiling.</p><p>"Scare no, scared me for life, probably."</p><p>"I suppose that I broke all the bones in your body aswell?"</p><p>"Yes you did, I expect nothing less than a million dollars by the end of the week."</p><p>"Oh whatever," Pony says getting off and sitting beside me. </p><p>I was still laying down, and pretended not to notice Pony staring at me.</p><p>"You want to go look for a job to pay off my hospital bills?"</p><p>"Drama queen,"</p><p>"Queen? I'm a king," I say smiling.</p><p>"No, I'm the king, you're my queen," Pony says, we begin laughing at our stupid conversation.</p><p>"Why do you get to be the king?"</p><p>"Because...my hair matches my crown." I laugh harder at his stupid answer and he laughs too.</p><p>"What does our castle look like?" I ask as he lays down beside me.</p><p>"It's big, and it's on an island. It's white and grey, it has a perfect view of the sunset."</p><p>"And the queen has better hair than the king..." I say giggling, he rolls his eyes and scoffs.</p><p>"And that's why this is a fantasy world." He says. I elbow him and laugh.</p><p>"Oh shut up!" I say laughing.</p><p>"Do you want a purple or pink dress?" He asks looking at me.</p><p>"Do you want a busted lip or a black eye?" I ask trying to sound like Dally.</p><p>"Whichever matches your dress-"</p><p>"New fantasy!"</p><p>"Okay, this time you're the king,"</p><p>"Well, I allow Queen Pony to do whatever he wants because I'm a good king,"</p><p>"Oh way to make me look like the bad guy!" He says laughing. We continue our random talk, living in different fantasies. We were royalty, wizards, adventurers, and as a joke, Socs.</p><p>"Come on, let's go home before it gets too late," Pony says getting up. He pulls me up and puts his arm around my waist, then just keeps it there, weird. We walk home, and Pony smiles.</p><p>"What?" I ask.</p><p>"Nothing," he says shrugging.</p><p>"What? I'm serious you can tell me,"</p><p>"I don't know, I'm just glad that you've been a lot happier lately,"  I smile and I wasn't really looking at where I was walking, and next thing I know I'm on the floor.</p><p>"Aw fuck!" I yell.</p><p>"Johnny are you okay?" Pony asks kneeling beside me.</p><p>"Yeah I'm fine, I might've just twisted my ankle," I say. Pony then puts his arm under my back and under my legs. "Pony what're-" He lifts me up and begins walking.</p><p>"I don't want your ankle to get worse,"</p><p>"Pony I'm fine-"</p><p>"No you're not, besides it's okay, I just thought of another fantasy,"</p><p>"What fantasy?"</p><p>"You're the princess and I'm your knight," he says grinning.</p><p>"You're such a dork," I say giggling. He laughs and carries me all the way home.</p><p>"Hey Pony how come you never pick us up like that?" Two-Bit asks grinning.</p><p>"Because you didn't twist your ankle," Pony answers.</p><p>"And if we were to?" Soda asks.</p><p>"You better hope Darry wants to carry you," Pony says grinning.</p><p>"How come Johnny gets all the special treatment?" Two-Bit whines. Pony sits down and sets me down beside him, my feet and legs were over his thighs.</p><p>"Because he's my best friend." Pony says. They continued on their conversation and those words made me happy but a little sad at the same time. Best friend.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. °Ponyboy°</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Where's Pony?" I hear from the front door, it's Dally.</p><p>"He's in his room," Soda answers.</p><p>I hear footsteps approach and Dally opens the door. "Hey kid,"</p><p>"Hey Dal,"</p><p>"So you said you needed to talk to me?"</p><p>"Yeah, I uh-" I got up and closed the door. "I wanted to talk to you about Johnny," I say quieter.</p><p>"What about him?"</p><p>"Do you know..." I sigh and finally make eye contact with him. "Do you know if he likes boys or girls?"</p><p>Dally exhales and grins, "Little Pony has a crush doesn't he?"</p><p>"What?! No! I was...I was just curious,"</p><p>"About Johnny or your sexuality?"</p><p>"Dally!"</p><p>"Look man, I can't go off telling you over people's business, but I'll just tell you this. You're chances of just going for it and succeeding, are very high. Good luck." He leaves and I sigh and fall back onto the bed. I can't believe it, I don't know if I should believe it. I can't like Johnny, I'm a boy, that's not how it works. Or at least that's what people at school say.</p><p>"Hey Pony Johnny's here!" Soda yells. I get up and go to the front door to see Johnny there with a flower.</p><p>"H-hey Johnny, what's this for?" I ask pointing to the flower. He shrugs and hands it to me.</p><p>"I don't know, I sort of just thought that'd you like it," he answers.</p><p>"Thank you," I say. Steve and Soda were on the couch making kissy faces and sounds, and I gave them the death look. They both looked away and I pulled Johnny outside. "They're just being dicks," I say smiling shyly. He shrugs and smiles, and we begin walking off towards who knows where. "Johnny can I talk to you about something?"</p><p>"Of course,"</p><p>"Um, are you against gays?" Johnny looks at me surprised but shakes his head.</p><p>"No, why?"</p><p>"Are you straight?" My eyes widen at my own words and Johnny just stares at me.</p><p>"No. I'm not, do you have a problem with that?" He asks with anger rising in his voice.</p><p>"W-what? N-no, no, not at all,"</p><p>"Good, was that all?"</p><p>"I guess..." I quiet down, but after a few minutes of awkward silence I begin asking him more questions. "Do you like anyone?" Johnny stares at his shoes for a few seconds and nods.</p><p>"Yeah, I do."</p><p>"Do I know him?"</p><p>"Mhm,"</p><p>"What's he like?"</p><p>"He's....amazing, he's smart, handsome, he's a....he's a dreamer." Jealously took course and now I was curious about this guy.</p><p>"What's his name?"</p><p>"What's with you and all these questions?" He asks smiling.</p><p>"I don't know, I'm just curious...is it Soda?" Johnny laughs and shakes his head.</p><p>"What? No,"</p><p>"Dally,"</p><p>"I said smart didn't I?" I giggle and shrug.</p><p>"Is it Darry?" He laughs even harder.</p><p>"Ew no," I guessed a ton of guys we went to school with, some other greasers and I started running out of options. Johnny must've figured out I was jealous, because he started laughing at me and messing with me. "Two-Bit,"</p><p>"Nope,"</p><p>"Tim?"</p><p>"Not even close,"</p><p>"STEVE?!" I ask.</p><p>"Nope." I groan in anger and Johnny laughs. "I'm surprised you haven't figured it out yet,"</p><p>"How am I supposed to? I have no clue!"</p><p>"Fine, here's a hint, he lives in Tulsa," I roll my eyes and smack his arm and he giggles.</p><p>"Nice hint,"</p><p>"Okay fine this will narrow it down a bit, he's a greaser,"</p><p>"Okay...is it...Curly?"</p><p>"Oh my God Ponyboy," Johnny says rubbing his temple.</p><p>"I don't know!" I yell.</p><p>"This is the biggest hint I'm going to give you, and your final hint, okay?"</p><p>"Okay." Suddenly Johnny grabs my face and kisses me. Before I can even react Johnny pulls away.</p><p>"Answer your question?" He asks, I stare at him, and suddenly what Johnny had done had finally hit him. His eyes widen and backs away. "I'm sorry Ponyboy I didn't mean it," I didn't mean it? Tears fill my eyes and I raise an eyebrow.</p><p>"You didn't mean it?" I ask with my voice cracking. His eyes somehow grow wider and he shakes his head.</p><p>"Wait no, I did but I didn't, wait I did I just-"</p><p>I suddenly lean forward, grab his face and kiss him. He's frozen for a quick second, but wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me closer. I'm about to wrap my arms around his neck until it hits me, we're outside, anyone can see us. I pull away and Johnny looks confused.</p><p>"We need to stop," I say out of breathe.</p><p>"Why? What's wrong?" He asks.</p><p>"We're in public," I answer. He grins then grabs my hand.</p><p>"Well then come on," he pulls me away, and we start to go to the hill.</p><p>We're running and giggling, we're crazy, but we have each other, so it's okay. Once we're far enough, he pins me against a tree and we go back to kissing. His hands are on my hips and mine are on his cheeks. (Face.)</p><p>His lips leave mine and go to my neck, before he does anything I speak up. "No marks, what if someone sees them?"</p><p>"Then they'll know you're taken," Johnny says kissing my neck. Had I not moaned at that moment I would've argued back, but at this point there's no use.</p><p>Eventually our make out session came to a close and we both left each other hot messes. I was red in the face and had an endless supply of marks on my neck, and Johnny was out of breathe and his hair was a mess.</p><p>"So...does this mean..." Johnny trailed off.</p><p>"I didn't just make out with you for the past 15 minutes to tell you I didn't like you," I answer grinning. I was sitting up against a tree and Johnny was in my lap.</p><p>"So you really are my king?" He asks.</p><p>"Mhm, and you're my queen," I say wrapping my arms around his neck. He kisses me softly and smiles.</p><p>"I really, really like you Ponyboy." He says.</p><p>"I like you too, and I promise," I hold onto his hand and smile. "That no matter what I'll always be by your side."</p><p>"Then I promise that..." Johnny takes a look at my neck and grins. "That your neck will be occupied with hickeys." He says giggling, I roll my eyes and plant another soft kiss on his lips. Words can't describe how happy I am.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. •Johnny•</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It's been two months since Pony and I started going out, and it's a secret. Obviously Dally wouldn't care, but we really don't know about the rest, so for now, we only show affection behind closed doors.</p><p>I knock on Pony's door and he smiled when he opened it. "Come on in, no one's home," he says. I come in and sit down on the couch and he sits beside me. "What do you want to do today? We could stay home, go out, whatever you want."</p><p>"Let's stay home, I just want to be with you," I answer. Pony smiles and kisses me softly. He pepper kisses my cheeks and neck and it's sort of ticklish. I begin giggling as he continues to kiss my neck. He travels back up to my face and then kisses me again, I lay down on my back while Pony is on top of me.</p><p>He pulls off his shirt and unbuttons mine. I grab him and pull him back down, while we're kissing, his hands travel up and down my sides. He leaves a few love bites on my neck but I don't mind.</p><p>He reached for my jeans when we heard a car pull up from outside. "Oh shit," Pony said. He gets up and looks through the window and he freaks out. He throws me my shirt and puts his on. I put my on and as soon as I finish the door opens with Soda, Darry and Steve coming in. They were talking about something when suddenly Steve stares at me and raises an eyebrow</p><p>"The hell is on your neck Johnny?" He asks. My eyes widen, the hickeys. I take a glance at Pony who's shaking his head and I smile.</p><p>"I have a girlfriend," I say.</p><p>"Oh really?" Soda asks.</p><p>"Yeah, her hickeys are worse," I say. Which is sort of true, I may not have a girlfriend but Pony has more hickeys on his neck and chest, but he covers them up.</p><p>"What's her name?" Steve asks.</p><p>"Callie," I answer.</p><p>"Callie? Callie who?" Soda asks.</p><p>"I don't know, I hit a home run before I knew her first name," I lie, I wanted to throw up at the lies I was telling. Pony and I wanted each other, but it wasn't just about sex or making out, we care about each other.</p><p>"All right Johnny!" Steve yells high fiving me. I put on a fake smile as they cheer me on. From a famous quote of first graders, "Girls are icky." They finally leave to go do their own thing around the house and Pony pulls me outside.</p><p>"What's Callie like?" Pony asks grinning as we walk.</p><p>"She's around your height, she has short brown hair that she bleached to be blonde. She has grey eyes, and she loves reading." I answer.</p><p>"Oh really?" Pony asks grinning.</p><p>"Yeah but, my love belongs to you, no one else." I put my arm around his shoulders and he looks around then gives me a quick kiss.</p><p>"Come on," Pony says pulling me to our usual spot, which has changed from the lot, to the hill. Pony sits against a tree and I sit in front of him, my back against his chest, my hips between his thighs. He wraps his arms around me and rests his head on my shoulder. "I love you so much," He says suddenly. We love each other, but we've never actually said it.</p><p>"I love you too," He kisses my neck and goes up to my cheek. We relax and watch the sunset as Pony kisses my cheek, neck or ear.</p><p>Eventually it got dark and Pony rubbed my side, "I think it's time we head home," he says. Weekends I just spent at his house but for the weekdays I stay at hell hole that is my house.</p><p>We walked home and though we  aren't able to hold hands Pony kept an arm around my shoulders. When we got there it was the same as usual, Two-Bit was drunk off his ass watching TV, Darry was in the kitchen, Dally was God knows where, and Soda and Steve were arm wrestling.</p><p>We watched TV for a bit with Two-Bit, he was sitting on the floor so we got to sit on the couch. I felt something go against my shoulder but I didn't take my eyes off the screen until Steve spoke up.</p><p>"Ooh does Callie have some competition there?" Steve asks laughing pointing at me. Soda laughs and I look at my shoulder, and Pony was asleep there.</p><p>"It's not funny," I say. I get off the couch and Pony's body and head fall onto the couch. I pick him up and go to his room. I lay him down and undress him like how he usually falls asleep. I pull off his pants and throw the covers over him. I throw his jeans to the side and I was going to go back to the living room, but he wakes up.</p><p>"Johnny?" He asks yawning.</p><p>"Hm?" I ask.</p><p>"Are you already leaving?" He asks sleepy.</p><p>"N-no,"</p><p>"Come lay down," he lifts up the cover and I lock the door just in case someone comes in. I lay down next to him, and he pulls me closer to him. "Goodnight, I love you."</p><p>"I love you too," I say relaxing in his arms. He kisses me softly then drifts off to sleep. I could spend the rest of my life with this boy if I could. Obviously we're not going to get married, we're gay we'll get killed before he could propose, and he's still 14 and I'm 16. So I can love him, and he can love me, but we'll never get the freedom out here like we do at the hill.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. °Ponyboy°</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Hey you guys," Dallas says opening the front door. </p><p>"Hey Dal what's up?" Soda asks.</p><p>"We were invited to a party," Dally says grinning.</p><p>"Ew Dallas!" I yell.</p><p>"Not that kind of party stupid!" He yells. "Just a normal party at Buck's you guys can all come,"</p><p>A party means beer, which means Two-Bit is going no question. Soda and Steve don't have work, so they want to go. Johnny looks at me, and I look at Darry.</p><p>"Pony if even one drop of-" I cut Darry off.</p><p>"I'll be fine!" I whine.</p><p>"Fine, you can go, Soda, Johnny, keep him out of trouble." He says still seeming unsure.</p><p>"You're not going?" Two-Bit asks.</p><p>"No I have work in the morning," he answers.</p><p>"Hurry up you guys!" Dallas yells clapping his hands. We get up and follow him out the door over to Bucks which was already crowded. "Pony, Johnny, you guys even think about drinking I'm gonna knock your heads in," Dally says when we enter. People were dancing, drinking, smoking, and passing out. Since it was dark, and everyone was drunk Johnny sat on my lap and my arms were around him.</p><p>Two-Bit was already drunk and was flirting with girls, Dallas was drunk but still sober enough to steal out of peoples purses and pockets. Soda was falling over everywhere and giggling, while Steve was trying to help him up but kept dropping him because he was so drunk.</p><p>"I regret coming," Johnny says interrupting my thoughts.</p><p>"I do too, but good thing I have you," I say grinning. He rolls his eyes but kisses me anyways.</p><p>"I love you so much," he mumbles against my lips. I giggle and smile.</p><p>"I love you too,"</p><p>We hear a slow song begin to play. It's not everyday this happens at Buck's, it's a once in a blue moon sort of thing.</p><p>Johnny gets off my lap and grabs my hands. "Come dance with me," he says.</p><p>"W-what?" I ask smiling.</p><p>"Come dance with me, we'll be fine," he whines. He pulls me up and kisses me again. I smile and he drags me onto the dance floor. The dance floor was filled with couples, Two-Bit and Dallas must've picked some girls up because they were dancing with these random girls. Soda and Steve were still falling over, and everywhere else was couples.</p><p>I wrap my arms around his waist and he puts his around my neck. We slow dance and Johnny kisses me softly.</p><p>"Party doesn't suck now huh?" I ask. He giggles and rests his head on my shoulder.</p><p>"I wish we could always be like this," he says quietly. I hold him closer and nod.</p><p>"I wish we could too..."</p><p>Hey sorry for the wait, I've sort of been having a few mental problems so my mind is sort of all over the place, but I'll be fine. It'll be a few days until the next chapter but it'll be longer, and back on the story line. I promise.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. •Johnny•</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I don't think I've ever seen people so drunk before. We were at Buck's and it's ridiculous. People can't walk in a straight line, they're falling over left and right, and the ones who are standing are dancing all over each other or pretty much having sex on the dance floor.</p><p>Soda was one of the ones falling over, he couldn't stay on his feet. Steve at first didn't want to be here and then Two-Bit bought him some drinks and he was drunk off his ass laughing at Soda and occasionally falling over as well. Dally was a little tipsy but still sober enough to steal out of people's pockets. Two-Bit was in the corner making out with some blonde. Darry was at home sleeping because unlike Steve he actually had the balls to say "fuck off." Then, I was sober sitting next Pony.</p><p>"You bored?" Pony asks.</p><p>"You have no idea," I answer. Pony smiles and puts his hand on my inner thigh. "What're-" He begins kissing my neck, and my eyes widen. "Pony someone's gonna see us!"</p><p>"Everyone's gonna be too hungover tomorrow to remember." He says. He places his lips on mine, and starts rubbing my thigh. We suddenly hear whistling and it's Steve.</p><p>"Ooh Johnny get some!" He yells laughing. I roll my eyes and Pony puts his hand on my shoulder.</p><p>"Wait for it..." He says. Suddenly Steve starts yelling and smiles.</p><p>"Let's all do crazy shit tonight!" He yells. He suddenly grabs Soda and kisses him, he let's go and yells more. Then Soda tackles him to the floor to kiss more.</p><p>"Drunk Steve is something else," Pony says. "Come on," he drags me over to Dally and whispers to him. "Can we have your room keys?"</p><p>Dally looks at him weird then sees me and grins. "Ohh, okay here you go, you two keep it down in there." He gives him the keys and Pony pulls me upstairs.</p><p>Once we're inside he pushes me up against the door and kisses me, your first time is apparently supposed to be really bad, but I'm with Pony, I don't think it'll be bad at all. It all happens so fast, one minute we're sitting down, next we're on the bed making out. And this minute, neither of us have clothes on. It's gonna happen.</p><p>....</p><p>I wake up in Pony's arms, with a pain in my lower back, but that's beside the point. I look at the side of the bed where all our clothes are, I suddenly feel a pair of lips on my neck.</p><p>"Good morning Johnny," Pony says sleepily.</p><p>"Morning Pony," I say turning to face him. I kiss him, and sigh.</p><p>"Something bothering you Johnny?"</p><p>"I don't think we should do this anymore..." He shoots up and his eyes tear up.</p><p>"You what?"</p><p>"Wait no! That came out wrong! I don't think, we should I hide our relationship anymore..."</p><p>"Oh, but Johnny what if someone hurts us, or tries to kill us, people think gays go to hell, an-and are sick! They'll try to hurt us,"</p><p>"I would never let that happen I promise-"</p><p>"Don't make a promise you know you can't keep,"</p><p>"Well, well what if we only tell the gang, please? I don't want to keep this a secret anymore, I want to be able to yell out that I love you, without having to worry about who will hear." Pony stares at me, but kisses me softly.</p><p>"Okay. I love you too."</p><p>...</p><p>We were standing in front of Pony's front door, we're nervous. He holds onto my hand, and kisses my cheek.</p><p>"Whatever happens, just know I love you, okay?" Pony says.</p><p>"I love you too."</p><p>He opens the door and things seem off, Dallas took Steve's spot in playing games with Soda, and Steve was watching TV with Two-Bit. Darry was just reading the newspaper on the chair, and I hear Soda talk.</p><p>"Hey where were you guys?" He asks.</p><p>"We stayed the night at Buck's, didn't Dallas tell you?" Pony asks.</p><p>"No, but thanks for the information Dal," Darry says looking at Dallas, Dally shrugs and goes back to playing poker.</p><p>"Johnny and I wanted to tell you guys something," Pony says squeezing my hand. I look at him and mouth a quick, I love you. "We're not just friends..." He suddenly kisses me, and pulls away. "We're in love, and boyfriends." Soda suddenly shoots up and points at Two-Bit.</p><p>"You owe me 20 bucks!" He yells.</p><p>"Son of a bitch," Two-Bit mumbles taking his wallet out. Dallas and Steve were laughing at Two-Bit, the only one who looked serious, was Darry. Oh no.</p><p>"Johnny, can I talk to you for a minute?" Darry asks standing. Pony suddenly holds onto me tightly and shakes his head.</p><p>"You can't take Johnny away from me," he says. Darry grins and shakes his head.</p><p>"Pony I just want to talk to him, no one is taking him away from you," Darry says. I kiss Pony and nod.</p><p>"It's okay Pony," I say. He hesitantly lets go and Darry pulls me outside.</p><p>"Johnny, I really don't care if Pony like girls, or boys, or if he doesn't like anyone, I care about his feelings. So I will not hesitate to hurt you if you break Pony's heart." He says, my eyes widen, but at the same time, sort of a relief. Why would I ever want to hurt Pony? "I don't care if you're Johnny Cade, or if you're Dallas Winston. So promise me, you won't hurt Pony." I nod and smile.</p><p>"I promise."</p><p>"Good, now go inside before Pony thinks I threw you in the dumpster," I go inside and kiss him.</p><p>"Get a room!" We hear, then we hear Soda say...</p><p>"You're just jealous because you're lonely!" By then we had to pull apart because we started giggling. Everyone went back to doing their own thing and I wrap my arms around Pony's neck, and Pony puts his arms around my waist.</p><p>"It's official, we can kiss around the house, whenever we want." Pony says smiling.</p><p>"Mhm, I knew they would be okay with it, I love you.</p><p>"Love you too."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. °Ponyboy°</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Hey Ponyboy," Johnny says coming into the living room and giving me a kiss on my cheek.</p><p>"Hey Johnny..." I say quietly.</p><p>"Something wrong?" He asks sitting next to me.</p><p>"I think something happened between Steve and Soda." I say.</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>"Ever since buck's party, they don't close anymore. They seem off,"</p><p>"Was it because-"</p><p>"They kissed? I thought so too, but they were so drunk how could they remember?"</p><p>"Well what if we weren't the only ones who had sex that night?" My eyes widen and he shrugs. "Just think about it, they're a lot more reckless and wild than we are. And don't you remember Soda wouldn't get off of Steve, they were making out and Steve started it."</p><p>"They must've woken up together, and they didn't talk about it-"</p><p>"Go find Soda," Johnny gets up and pulls me up with him.</p><p>"What? Why?"</p><p>"If there's one person Soda will talk to, it's you, you need to ask him about it. Steve and Soda are best friends, they can't just suddenly stop being friends."</p><p>"And Steve?"</p><p>"If we're right, I'll have Dallas talk to Steve about it, but otherwise we have to stay out of it."</p><p>"Oh great, how many people are we gonna bring into this?"</p><p>"As many as it takes to bring them back together, now go."</p><p>I sigh and run off to the DX, I don't have to worry about Socs a lot. Randy has them lay off me and Johnny, I asked if he could help the rest of the gang, but Randy could barely let the Socs leave me and Johnny alone.</p><p>I finally get there and see Soda working the counter. I go in and and he smiles.</p><p>"Hey Pony what-"</p><p>"We need to talk."</p><p>"About what?"</p><p>"Steve."</p><p>Soda's smile drops and he looks through the nearby window to see Steve fixing a car.</p><p>"7 o'clock at the dingo. Not a second later. Understand?"</p><p>"Understood."</p><p>"Good, I'll see you later."</p><p>"Later."</p><p>.....</p><p>I was waiting at a booth for Soda and he finally came in exactly at 7 and sat down.</p><p>"Soda-"</p><p>"We made a mistake. At bucks party."</p><p>"What kind of mistake?"</p><p>"I-I don't- it was just a bad one, okay?"</p><p>"Okay..."</p><p>"Look, I don't remember everything, I just remember going to Buck's party, then I woke up with Steve's arms around me, and we were naked, then I took off before he could wake up."</p><p>"So you guys..."</p><p>"I assume so,"</p><p>"Does he know?"</p><p>"I don't know, he probably think he did it with some random girl, anytime he tries to come near me I take off, and if he tries to make plans I lie and say I'm doing something with you or Two-Bit."</p><p>"Soda you need to talk to him-"</p><p>"What am I supposed to say? Oh Steve we had sex and I liked it, but I know you're straight?" </p><p>"Wait..you liked it?"</p><p>"I uh- that's not the point Pony! I can't even look at him,"</p><p>"Just talk about it, you guys are best friends,"</p><p>"I know, but I can't even look at him the same, how am I supposed to talk to him or even approach him,"</p><p>"What if I bring him to you?"</p><p>"Pony- oh my god."</p><p>"What? What's wrong?" Soda suddenly slides down the seat and goes under the table.</p><p>"I'm not here."</p><p>I turn around and it's Steve, his eyes widen and he comes to the table.</p><p>"There you are Pony, can I sit down?" He asks.</p><p>"Uhh, sure go ahead." He sits down and sighs.</p><p>"I know we don't get along, but I need your help."</p><p>"Um sure, with what?"</p><p>"It's about Soda."</p><p>"G-go ahead."</p><p>"Ever since Buck's party, Soda won't even look at me, he won't talk to me. And anytime I ask him if he wants to hang out, he's always with you or Two-Bit. He hates me."</p><p>I don't like Steve, I really don't, but I feel bad. I don't know what I would have done if Johnny died, but it's different.</p><p>It wouldn't be Johnny's choice to spend time with me if he had died. But Soda's alive and flat out ignoring Steve. I know it sounds complicated, but it makes sense to me.</p><p>"He doesn't hate you..."</p><p>"How do you know that? Did he tell you?" He seems hopeful that Soda still cares.</p><p>"Uh, yes. Yes he did. Soda's actually been listening this whole time."</p><p>"Pony that's not funny."</p><p>"No I'm serious! Soda get up!"</p><p>I hear a groan and Soda gets up and sits next to me.</p><p>"Why were you-?"</p><p>"He'll answer that later. Right now he has some explaining to do. Right Soda?"</p><p>Soda just glares at me and looks down.</p><p>"Fine I'll start it off," I take a deep breathe and look at Steve. "You and Soda-"</p><p>"We had sex, Steve." Soda says. Steve's eyes widen and he looks so confused.</p><p>"We did?"</p><p>"Mhm, at Buck's party. You kissed me, and I didn't stop you. And then- it just sort of happened."</p><p>"Pony can I talk to Soda alone?" I nod and slide out from the booth and walk out to see Johnny sitting down on the curb.</p><p>"Did you bring Steve here?" I ask. Johnny looks up and shrugs.</p><p>"Not for Soda, I just wanted to talk, but he took off when he saw you through the window."</p><p>I sit down beside him, "They started talking, I don't really know what's gonna happen."</p><p>"Steve seemed really upset on our way over here, I think they can get past this,"</p><p>I lean my head on Johnny's shoulder and he puts his arm around me. "Do you regret anything we've done?"</p><p>"The only thing I regret was not kissing you sooner."</p><p>I smile and give him a quick kiss, "I love you Johnny." He looks around and gives me a kiss back.</p><p>"I love you too."</p><p>•••••</p><p>I stand next to Johnny and hold onto him tightly.</p><p>"What do you mean you're gay?" Darry asks angrily. The whole gang gets up and looks like they're gonna beat the crap out of us.</p><p>"He's not, it's just me. Pony's straight." Johnny says pushing me off of him.</p><p>"I knew it, you son of a bitch, don't try to corrupt my brother." Soda says grabbing his arm.</p><p>"Soda no! It's not like that!" I yell, but he doesn't care. Steve grabs his other arm, and Two-Bit lights a cigarette then holds it to Johnny's cheek. Johnny yells and I try to help him but Dally grabs a hold of me.</p><p>"Easy kid, Darry is gonna handle this, Johnny's gonna leave you alone." He says.</p><p>"What? No! I love Johnny!" But again, they ignored me. I struggle in Dally's grip but it's no use. Johnny was still yelling and Darry was shaking his head.</p><p>"You think you can just try to turn my brother gay? Well he's not a sinner, he's a good kid." Darry says.</p><p>"DARRY NO!" But he doesn't care, Darry hits Johnny square in the face and his nose starts bleeding. Darry keeps punching him, and soon enough Johnny looks like he's a punch away from death. He looked exhausted, and he was bleeding profusely.</p><p>"Johnny?" I ask crying. Johnny looks at me and he shakes his head.</p><p>"I'm sorry Ponyboy, I love you."</p><p>"I love you too." Darry pulls out a switch blade and I scream. But Johnny looks at him calmly, and just looks up, like he's trying to speak to God or something.</p><p>"DARRY PLEASE! STOP!"</p><p>Darry stabs him and Steve and Soda drop Johnny onto the floor. Johnny groans and holds his stomach. Dally lets go and I fall to the floor beside him.</p><p>"Johnny? Johnny I'm sorry." Johnny turns to me, and talks to me worriedly.</p><p>"Pony wake up."</p><p>"W-what?"</p><p>"Wake up. Wake up! PONYBOY WAKE UP!" He starts shaking me and yells louder. "WAKE UP!"</p><p>.....</p><p>I shoot up awake and I wipe the tears off my face.</p><p>"Ponyboy? Ponyboy what the hell happened?" Johnny asks. I look around and I was lying on Johnny's chest, that's where I was. Because we fell asleep on the couch, oh Thank God.</p><p>"Y-you-Darry-I-I," I couldn't speak in full sentences. My eyes water again and Johnny pulls me into a hug.</p><p>"It's okay Pony," He rubs my back and continues to whisper to me. "It's okay Pony, it's okay. I'm here. You're safe now. I promise."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. •Johnny•</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Pony and I were walking around town when it started get real windy. I offered him my jacket but he said we were close to his house and we could just get his.</p><p>"I'll be right back," Pony said as we stopped in front of his house.  He ran inside and I suddenly heard a loud scream followed by more screaming.</p><p>"What the hell?" I mumble flicking out my switch blade. I run inside and go to Pony's room where Pony was shocked... and Steve and Soda were naked in bed! I drop my switch blade and scream. I hear something fall from Darry's room and he comes running.</p><p>"What's wrong?!" He asks running in. He sees Steve and Soda then he screams.</p><p>"GET OUT!" They yell. Darry runs back to his room, and Pony and I run back outside.</p><p>We were shocked at first, and after a few mintues of more walking it didn't seem that bad, that means they're still best friends. Right? But apparently, I guess I was the only one who felt that way.</p><p>"How could they? I sleep there too!" Pony conplains. I try my best not to laugh or smile as he continues whining. "I don't have sex in that bed, what the hell?!"</p><p>I couldn't help it and giggled a little, Pony shot me a look and raised an eyebrow. "What?" He asks annoyed.</p><p>"You're just cute, that's all." I answer grinning. He blushes and looks down.</p><p>"Whatever..." He mumbles. I roll my eyes and kiss him on the cheek. "Come on, let's go to the hill," he says sticking his hand out. Before I take it, I take my jacket off and hand it to him. "Johnny-"</p><p>"I know you want it," I say, he smiles and takes it and puts it on. "See? Now you're even cuter."</p><p>We begin walking to the hill, when suddenly we hear Dallas yelling for us to stop. "Wait! PONYBOY! JOHNNY!"</p><p>We stop and turn around to see Dallas running toward us, "You alright Dal?" I ask.</p><p>He stops and points back to the Pony's house, "Go back home, you guys need to get out of here,"</p><p>"Why? What's wrong?" Pony asks.</p><p>"Word got out about you two, someone probably saw you or something, greasers weren't sure but me and Tim covered it. Greasers are gonna do their best to protect you, but word got out to the socs and they are not happy." He says out of breathe.</p><p>"What about the deal with Randy?" I ask.</p><p>"Randy can't protect you guys now, socs turned on him and jumped him," He answers.</p><p>"Oh no! What the hell are we gonna do?!" I yell.</p><p>"I'll explain it later, but now we have to get home, come on!"</p><p>We begin running back to Pony's house and as we turn the corner we see a socs car from the distance, "Oh shit, TIM!" Dallas yells. </p><p>"We're coming Dallas!" We hear from afar. We stop in front of the house and Dallas points to it. </p><p>"Go inside, I need to talk to Tim, I'll talk to you guys tonight. Do not leave the house. Understand?"</p><p>"Yes." We say. Tim and his gang come rounding the corner, but unfortunately the socs' car do too. We run inside and I see Dallas take out his switch blade, Pony closes and locks the door.</p><p>I look through the window and see the socs get out of the car and starting a fight with Dallas, and Tim and his gang. Dallas throws the first punch but I suddenly hear heavy breathing, I turn around and Pony bursts out into tears and begins to fall down but I catch him.</p><p>"Pony, Pony, it's okay," I whisper sitting him down on the couch.</p><p>"They w-want to hurt us, I can't lose you again!" He worries crying more. I pull him into my chest and rub his back.</p><p>"You're not gonna lose me. I will never leave your side, I'll always be with you, I promise." I soothe.</p><p>Soda and Steve come out of their room and Soda gives me a confused look, "What's wrong?"</p><p>"Word got out about me and Pony," I answer.</p><p>"And...?" Steve asks.</p><p>"Look outside." I answer. Steve and Soda look outside and Steve gets fired up.</p><p>"MOTHERFUCKERS!" He yells. He opens the door and runs out with Soda following.</p><p>"J-Johnny-"</p><p>"Shh, Pony everything is going to be okay," </p><p>I kiss his head and just hold him close. That's all I can do, is be there for him, and never leave him. </p><p>....</p><p>I tried, I tried really hard to get Pony to calm down, but he cried himself to sleep, and I couldn't do anything about it. The whole gang for the exception of me, Darry and Pony got hurt. The fight in the front of the house drew more greasers and more Socs as time passed. And I couldn't fight, that's the last thing our gang wanted, especially Pony.</p><p>Pony was in bed sleeping, Darry was asleep in his room, Two-Bit and Dallas were sleeping on the floor of the living room, while Steve and Soda took the couch. I was sitting in the chair also sleeping, when suddenly I heard screaming and crying.</p><p>I got up and ran to noise, which was no surprise, coming from Pony. I open the door to see him wide-eyed crying and hyperventilating. "Y-you said you w-wouldn't leave me," He says out of breathe. I raise an eyebrow and point to the living.</p><p>"I didn't leave, I was in the living room," I argue. But then it hits me, he's not talking to me, he's talking about Dream Johnny. I climb on the bed and take Pony's hands in mine, "Pony what did you dream about?" He stares at me for a long time, and suddenly just hugs me tightly.</p><p>"You're here." He says quietly. We lay down and he begins speaking, "We were at school, and people asked if we were gay, you said no, and you walked away. And I kept trying to get to you, but you couldn't even look at me. Then you broke up with me, and you ran away." And by the time he finished speaking he had burst out crying again.</p><p>"Pony I would never do that, I love you more than anything or anyone else in the world." </p><p>"I-I know, I just, I can't control my nightmares." </p><p>"Pony, no matter what happens in your dreams just know, I would give up everything to keep you safe, and I love you so much, I'll do anything to be with you. If there's one person in the world I need, it's not Dallas, or my mom or dad, it's you. You're my world." </p><p>He smiles and I kiss him softly, but I suddenly have an idea, I grab his hand and pull him up. "Come on," I say getting out of bed.</p><p>"Where're we going?" </p><p>I pull him out of the room and open the front door and take a step outside, the rest of the gang is way too tired to hear me, so now's the time. I clear my throat and yell the loudest I can, "I'M MADLY IN LOVE WITH PONYBOY MICHAEL CURTIS!" Like I said, the gang didn't wake up, they were too tired. I look at Pony and he's smiling and giggling, there's the Pony I'm in love with.</p><p>He pulls me back inside and closes the door and pulls me back into the bedroom. "You have lost your mind," Pony says giggling.</p><p>"Oh well," I say kissing him. For once, that made me and hopefully Pony feel safe. Out there, we were in danger and can die at any moment, but right now, in this room. I can kiss him as much as I want, he give me and endless supply of love bites, and so on. We're safe, and no one can take this away from us.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. °Ponyboy°</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TRIGGER WARNING: SELF-HARM</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Ponyboy aren't you hungry?" Soda asks pointing to my plate. We're having chicken, potatoes and corn but I haven't touched my plate.</p><p>"No," I say pushing the plate away from me. Soda gives Darry a look and Darry scoots his chair closer to me.</p><p>"Look, I know you're upset but you'll get to see him soon I promise, we just need this to blow over and for the Socs to calm down." He says. I stare at him lifeless and think about what he forced me and Johnny to do.</p><p>....</p><p>"Okay, so Dallas and I have talked this over and we even talked to Cherry and Randy to see what we can do about this situation." Darry starts. Without looking at me Johnny holds onto my hand and sits closer to me.</p><p>"And uh..." Dallas looks at Darry disapointed and finishes. "We don't think you two should see each other anymore." I let go of Johnny's hand and shoot up getting in Dallas' face. I don't care if he's tough or whatever I'll be damned if they try to take Johnny away from me.</p><p>"What the hell do you mean we shouldn't see each other anymore?!" I yell pushing Dallas.</p><p>"No Ponyboy, it's not like that-" Darry says trying to pull me away from Dallas.</p><p>"Don't touch me!" I yell pushing him away.</p><p>"Ponyboy..." Darry says.</p><p>"Johnny means everything to me! Why would you take the one person who gives my life some sort of meaning away from me?" Darry and Dally look at me guilty and I scoff. "So think breaking us up is going to change anything?" </p><p>"Well it's not just breaking you guys up, we're completely separating you two," Darry answers. </p><p>"What the hell does that mean?" I ask.</p><p>"We also talked to Two-Bit and Steve, they agreed to live with Johnny in California," Dallas says. Johnny puts his head in his hands and I shake my head and sigh.</p><p>"This is fucking bullshit," I mutter.</p><p>"Excuse me?!" Darry yells.</p><p>"I SAID THAT'S FUCKING BULLSHIT!" I scream. Darry comes forward but Johnny shoots up and gets in front of me.</p><p>"Darry no! I-I-I'll do it, okay? I'll live with Two-Bit and Steve, or whatever, okay?" He asks, Darry nods and calms down.</p><p>"Johnny-" Johnny turns around and cuts me off.</p><p>"It's going to be fine," he says, he turns back around and continues talking. "When do I leave?"</p><p>"Tomorrow," Dallas answers. Johnny's eyes widen but he nods.</p><p>"Okay, that's fine." He says.</p><p>"Come on Darry, we'll be gone for the night," Dallas says pulling Darry away. They leave and Johnny hugs me tightly.</p><p>"I'm sorry Ponyboy, but I didn't want him to hurt you," Johnny says. I hug him back and he begins crying but I stay silent, I'll stay strong, for him.</p><p>--</p><p>"I'm really going to miss you," Johnny whispers turning to me. It was morning and last night, let's just say we gave each other a "going away present." I was holding onto him tightly and I kissed him again.</p><p>"I'm going to miss you too," I say.</p><p>"Ponyboy, if I'm gone for too long, go ahead and move-"</p><p>"No."</p><p>"Ponyboy-"</p><p>"You can move on if you want, I hope you don't, but you can. You're my first love, and I plan for you to be my only love," Johnny smiles and kisses me again.</p><p>I don't understand, why are people so disgusted with me and Johnny? We're not hurting anyone, we're just in love, no one should care except for us. I'm not ashamed of myself, there's no reason for me to be, I love Johnny, I like boys, and nothing is going to change that.</p><p>.....</p><p>That was nearly a year ago, Soda hasn't seen his love, and I haven't seen mine. The Socs still aren't over it, they tell me that they never want to see Johnny's face around here again. We send letters, but it's not enough, I can't kiss him, I can't see him, I can't hear him, I can't hold him, nothing.</p><p>Sleep finally turned into an escape, I'm living in a nightmare so I stopped doing track. So I go to school, do my homework then sleep as much as I can. No books, no movies, I can't even look a sunset without crying.</p><p>"I'm going to bed," I say walking away.</p><p>"Ponyboy-!" Darry yells.</p><p>"Let him go!" Soda yells back. I close the door and go to bed, Soda and Darry argue a lot more these days. At first I thought it was just Soda defending me but then I realized that Johnny, Two-Bit and Steve are gone. Soda misses Steve just as much as I miss Johnny, but he's not sad about it, he's angry.</p><p>That joyful, happy Soda that once lived here went missing, instead we have the angry Soda that lashes out on Darry any chance he gets. He turns 18 next week and I have a feeling he's gonna take off and find Steve.</p><p>"You took away the one thing that made him happy!" Soda yells.</p><p>"He was happy before he was dating Johnny!" </p><p>"Have you lost your fucking mind?!" </p><p>"Well if you know so much why don't you take him and raise him yourself?!"</p><p>"Maybe I should! Because I actually care about him!" </p><p>I hear a front door slam and Darry's bedroom door slam, that's the third time this week door slamming ended an argument. I feel as the next slamming won't be a door but a head hitting a wall.</p><p>I turn on my side and pull down my sleeve, I don't each as much as I used to so I'm a lot colder these days and wear more sweatshirts and longsleeves. I look at my wrist and my eyes fill up.</p><p>HERE IT IS - SKIP TO NEXT BOLD PART IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE IT</p><p>A couple weeks ago, Soda and Darry weren't home so I got a knife from the kitchen and walked into the bathroom. I stood in front of the mirror for nearly an hour debating on what to do with it. I can't kill myself, I'll drag everyone else down with me, Johnny and Soda, then Steve and Dallas, and more than likely Two-Bit and Darry. So I'll just do something not as permanent.</p><p>I held the knife to my wrist and slowly cut three lines, I flinched and yelled for the first one, but it didn't hurt as much compared to how I felt when Johnny left. It somehow made me feel better, I don't how, but it did.</p><p>So now, everytime those three cuts heal, I cut again, I'd rather have three dark scars then endless faint ones. Soda and Johnny would be worried, but Soda's never home, he's always at work because Steve isn't there anymore, and when he is home, he's arguing with Darry. And Johnny isn't even here anymore, he wouldn't be able to see them.</p><p>OKAY YOU READ NOW</p><p>I just want all this to be over, no more arguing, no more cuts, no more depression, I want all of it to be over. I live for Johnny, and I'll wait forever him, I refuse to move on.</p><p>A/N: I do not at all think that cutting or suicide is the right answer, it's just the chapter to this. If you need someone to talk to, talk to me. Numerous people in my life have felt this way, destroyed or broken etc. No one is disposable, come talk to me. I'm always here.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. °Ponyboy°</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TRIGGER WARNING: SELF HARM, SUICIDE</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Are you excited?" I ask.</p><p>"About what?" Soda asks flatly.</p><p>"Well tomorrow you're going to be 18," I answer smiling, but Soda doesn't seem too happy.</p><p>"Just gives Darry more of a reason to kick me out," He says getting up.</p><p>"He wouldn't do that," </p><p>"You don't know that side of him Ponyboy, which is a good thing,"</p><p>"But what about Steve?"</p><p>"Hell Steve probably moved on, why would he even care anymore?" Soda walks away and closes the bedroom door and my eyes fill up. What about Johnny? Did Johnny move on? Is that why he hasn't been sending letters?</p><p>I bet he's in California with a new boyfriend, someone who doesn't cry all the time, someone smarter, someone who's more handsome, Johnny doesn't love me anymore. Why would he? He could do so much better, no, he DID so much better. But there's one thing that new guy can never take away from me, I know I love Johnny more than anyone else ever could. Even if he did move on.</p><p>My arm and hand starts lightly shaking, I pull down my sleeve and check, healed enough to me. I take a knife and lock myself in the bathroom, I take deep breathes and slowly cut the three lines. </p><p>"1....he moved on! 2....he doesn't love you! 3....he's not here." Normally I don't cry when I cut but mental came over physical and I burst out crying. It's not working, another three won't hurt. Right? </p><p>I take a deep breathe and cut another three, deep breathes. "4....why even try? 5....he's better off. 6...you're broken." I slowly exhale and fall to the floor sitting up against the wall. I look at my wrist, and my eyes widen. All the cuts are a lot longer and deeper than usual, that sure is a lot of blood, but it doesn't hurt, on the inside or the outside. I'm fine, I grab a towel and clean up my wrist pulling back down my sleeve. </p><p>I hide the towel and knife and walk back out, nothing happened. I'm fine. </p><p>Since Soda is in the our room and upset, I just take a nearby sweatshirt, put it on and go to the couch, somewhat warmth. It's not until I lay down and am about to close my eyes when the scent hits me, it's Johnny's.</p><p>.....</p><p>"Not hungry again?" Darry asks annoyed looking at me. I shake my head and he sighs, "Take a bite of everything and you can leave." I look at the food and pick up my fork and my arm starts shaking.</p><p>"Ponyboy?" Soda asks.</p><p>"I'm really not hungry," I answer.</p><p>"Darry just let him go to bed," Soda says, Darry sighs and nods. I get up but go to the bathroom first. I pull down my sleeve and nearly scream, the blood never stopped it's all over my arm, my sleeve, and unfortunately the sweatshirt. It was a dark sweatshirt so Darry and Soda couldn't notice, but had I bled any more, Darry would've taken me to a hospital. </p><p>I try to clean up the blood but it keeps going and I don't know what to do, it should stop eventually, shouldn't it? I take a towel and wrap it around my arm, if I make a run for it they'll notice me and question it. If I stay in here any longer they'll get worried, but if I just quickly walk to the room with nothing to say, I'll be fine.</p><p>I take a deep breathe and leave and within a few seconds I'm in our room and I go under the covers. I'll fall asleep and when I wake up and I'll take off the towel and get cleaned up, this bad day will all be over.</p><p>I close my eyes and I'm sort of half asleep for a while, I hear mumbling, then the space next to me suddenly sinks, and I hear a scream. Then I fully black out.</p><p>//Sodapop//</p><p>"Do you think we should let him go see Johnny?" Darry asks when Pony leaves.</p><p>"It's the only thing that will bring the real Ponyboy back," I mumble. We see Ponyboy leave the bathroom but he goes straight to bed.</p><p>"Oh, can you give this to him? He probably wants to read it," Darry says handing me an envelope. I take it and walk to our room and Ponyboy is in bed.</p><p>"Hey Ponyboy you got another letter," I say. He doesn't say anything and I assume he just fell asleep, I sigh and climb into bed when I suddenly feel a damp spot. Did he piss the bed? I lift up the blanket to see a pool of blood around his arm, I scream and shake him. "PONYBOY?!" </p><p>"What's wrong?!" Darry yells coming to our room.</p><p>"Look at him!" I yell. Darry pulls of the blanket and his eyes widen.</p><p>"Ponyboy?" He asks shaking him. He doesn't say anything and Darry picks him up, "Come on! We got to go!" We leave and get inside the car and Darry speeds to the hospital. I silently cry as I hold Ponyboy in the backseat. "Don't cry Soda, Ponyboy's going to be fine."</p><p>We finally get to the hospital and rush in, and in no time we have to sit in that stupid waiting room for Ponyboy. I lost track of time, I kept pacing back and forth. What if he was dead? Was it because Darry tried to get him to eat? Was it because I yelled at him? What if he did this on purpose? What if he tried to kill himself? </p><p>"Soda!" Darry yells, I stop pacing and stare at him. </p><p>"You two can see him now," the nurse says quietly. We follow her to his room and it suddenly clicked. The blood around his arm, the letters, California, this has to do with Johnny, doesn't it? I look at his arm and I cry even harder.</p><p>"Soda what's wro- Oh my God." Darry says. He hugs me tightly and I can't stop crying. There wasn't bandages or wraps around his whole body, except for the arm. Where he probably cut, and cried, I should've caught on sooner. I'm such a shitty brother, God what the fuck is wrong with me?</p><p>"He's going to be fine, he lost a lot of blood because of his arm, but I promise he'll be fine. He should be out of here and back home with you by the end of tomorrow," the nurse says happily. Darry lets go of me and I calm down, I'm not gonna let Ponyboy out of my sight again. </p><p>\\Ponyboy\\</p><p>I wake up with Darry asleep on the arm chair and Soda wide awake sitting up against the wall. "Soda?" I ask quietly.</p><p>"Ponyboy?" Soda asks getting up. I look around me, I'm in a hospital bed and white bandages cover up my arm. </p><p>"What happened?"</p><p>"You nearly freaking killed yourself, that's what happened."</p><p>"I'm sorry...it was an accident."</p><p>"I'm just glad you're okay," </p><p>I turn on my side and point to the clock, "What time is it?"</p><p>"It's 1 o'clock in the morning Pony," Soda answers laughing.</p><p>"You're officially 18," I say smiling. Soda rolls his eyes but hands me an envelope.</p><p>"Darry gave this to me, it's from Johnny,"  I take it and open, I cut myself and nearly died because of a missed letter, and anxiety. </p><p>Dear Ponyboy,</p><p>I miss you a lot, but that's nothing new, but I miss you more than ever right now. It's been so long. I miss everything about you, our long talks, your soft hair, your perfect eyes, your voice, everything. I miss the way you made me feel, the way you touched me, the way you would kiss me and hold me like I was worth millions. When you're always so gentle, I miss looking in the mirror at all the hickies you left on my neck and chest. God writing this makes me want to come find you. </p><p>I was talking to Steve he misses you guys, he was talking about Soda's birthday, 18th birthday. Unless you've moved on, which I hope you didn't, but if you did, it's okay. It hurts, but it's okay. Just know I'll always love you. But if you didn't move on, take Soda and come find us. Steve's going crazy, and I don't know how much longer I can take it.</p><p>California isn't as bad as home. People accept gays left and right, well, most are nicer to straight people, but they don't mind us. They think gay people are people too. Two-Bit tried to get us to go to a Gay Bar but we're not ready. We're not giving up on you two. Come find us.</p><p>Love,</p><p>Johnny. </p><p>I smile and look at the back of the letter where his address was, "You seem happier," Soda says.</p><p>"Johnny and Steve know you're 18, they want us to come to find them." I say.</p><p>"Really?" He asks.</p><p>"Yes, we have to go!" I rush.</p><p>"But what about Darry?"</p><p>"When has that stopped you before?" </p><p>"Good point."</p><p>"Come on!"</p><p>We rush out and I leave a note but make sure not to wake Darry and we quickly leave and go to the car. "Darry has long legs, he can make it home," Soda says starting the car. He begins driving and I'm excited.</p><p>I get to see Johnny, and I'm not letting go this time, I won't leave without him. No one will come between us.</p>
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<a name="section0011"><h2>11. °Ponyboy°</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"You're not going to get any sleep?" Soda asks. When we first got in the car we pumped and wanted to get to California as soon as possible. But then, reality hit us and we went home packed some clothes, bought a map and some snacks, and now we're on our way.</p><p>"How could I possibly sleep now?" I ask smiling.</p><p>"Well Pony, you really worried us when we found you, I just want you to get some rest that's all," He answers.</p><p>"Maybe a couple minutes wouldn't hurt..." I say, he laughs and shakes his head.</p><p>"Just go to sleep," </p><p>I sigh and relax and slowly I fall back asleep, we're coming Johnny, I promise.</p><p>.....</p><p>I wake up and the sky was light blue turning pink and orange, "Up already?" Soda asks smiling.</p><p>"How long was I asleep?" I ask yawning.</p><p>"Just a few hours,"</p><p>"How close are we?"</p><p>"Uhh..."</p><p>"What does that mean?"</p><p>"We still got maybe another 20 hours on our hands," I groan and Soda shrugs.</p><p>"Well that just means we can eat whatever we want tonight,"</p><p>He kept driving and I was going to explode, I just want to see Johnny but hundreds of miles separate us. I kept rereading the letter, it made me feel all sorts of ways. He misses me not just because of our talks and stuff but how we were to each other physically. The hickies, the gentleness, but I miss him too. How he would scream my name- actually, forget it, I don't want to get to detailed.</p><p>But I miss him, and I don't know what's gonna happen, Darry might come after us with Dallas but I don't care. Because once Johnny comes home, I'll be happy again. I'll eat, I'll stop cutting and I'll be...Ponyboy again. </p><p>....</p><p>After what seemed like forever night came and we were closer to California now, we're at a hotel in Nevada. Soda's exhausted and is struggling to walk but we quickly get inside our room and he falls asleep before he can shower. I grab my clothes and step into the shower, I can't wait until tomorrow, a few hours of driving then we'll be in Sacramento with Johnny, Two, and Steve.</p><p>....</p><p>I wake up with the sun shining in my face and I shoot up excited and eager to see them. I shake Soda awake and yell.</p><p>"Hurry up! We're wasting daylight!" I yell. He shoots awake and I drag him out of the hotel and we're soon back on the road.</p><p>"Don't worry Ponyboy, we'll be with them in no time,"</p><p>....</p><p>"OH MY GOD!" Soda yells putting his head against the wheel. The traffic is horrible and it's ridiculous, we've barely moved in the past 2 hours. It was starting to get dark which means... "Pony I'm leaving at the next exit, we can start again early tomorrow." I sigh and nod.</p><p>After maybe another godamn hour we finally got to a hotel and as Soda layed down he tried to reassure me. "Tomorrow, I promise."</p><p>He fell asleep but I couldn't, we're in Folsom, less than an hour away. I started thinking about the letter again, Johnny wanted to talk to me, to kiss me, and so much more. I toss and turned for I don't know how long until I made up my mind.</p><p>Soda was going to wait until tomorrow, but not me, I'm leaving, with or without Soda. I grab my shoes and wallet, then I leave a note and take off to the nearest bus stop. It would take me closer to Sac, but no completely, fine, I'll walk.</p><p>I wait maybe about 20 minutes before the bus comes by and stops, I hop on and try to hand the driver money but he shakes it off.</p><p>"Just get on kid," he says. I keep walking and sit down, there was an old dark man with a guitar sleeping against the window. Then there was a tough looking girl with her arms crossed and she was chewing bubble gum. She sort of looked like Dallas but that'd be odd to say. "Where you headed to kid?" The driver asks breaking my thoughts.</p><p>"Sacramento," I answer.</p><p>"No specific adress?" He asks.</p><p>"Not like it matters this bus only goes to Rancho, doesn't it?"</p><p>"During the day, but it's 3:00 in the morning, this is more of just a free ride,"</p><p>"What about-?"</p><p>"Everyone else? Glenn leaves in the morning and somehow manages to find my bus again and sleeps through the night on here. And Alex-"</p><p>"Does whatever she wants and goes everywhere," The girl says.</p><p>"Exactly." The driver says.</p><p>"Alex Winston," The girl says coming up to me, I'm about to shake her hand but her last name hits me.</p><p>"Winston?"</p><p>"Yeah, what about it?"</p><p>"Are your parents from New York?"</p><p>"...Yes..."</p><p>My eyes widen and I take out an old receipt from my wallet and write Dallas' number. I hand it to her and nod.</p><p>"Call it at 5:00, and ask the guy about someone who stays there, his name is Dallas Winston, okay?"</p><p>"Okay...."</p><p>"Hey what's your name kid?" The driver asks.</p><p>"Ponyboy Curtis,"</p><p>"You want to tell us why you're heading to Sacramento so early?"</p><p>"To see my boyfriend," I answer without thinking, oh shit. They're probably gonna throw me off the bus.</p><p>"Makes sense," The driver says, Alex gets excited and sits in front of me.</p><p>"Ooh what's his name?"</p><p>"Johnny,"</p><p>"What's he like?"</p><p>"If I told you everything we'd be here for hours," I say smiling, she giggles and shrugs.</p><p>"Gay people are way cooler than straight people,"</p><p>Soon enough the driver stops at another bus stop and turns around, "You sure you don't want a ride to wherever you're going?"</p><p>"No it's okay, I can walk, besides I don't want to disrupt all the houses, I'm not even from here," I get up and walk to the doors.</p><p>"Where you from?"</p><p>"Tulsa," </p><p>"You must really love this guy than?"</p><p>"More than you could imagine,"</p><p>I get off the bus and begin walking to his house, I had to get another map of this place considering the other Sac one is with Soda. I begin walking and I can hear thunder, perfect timing.</p><p>I speed up a bit but before I cross the street it starts pouring, I'll be soaking wet by the time I get there. I begin running but it just rains harder, I try to sprint but I can't go very fast, the water is slowing and weighing be down.</p><p>I keep running and I'm almost there, it's fucking freezing without a jacket, I look at the map but there's no use. The rain already soaked it and it's useless, I look around and see his street's name. I keep running and look at the numbers on the houses trying to find his, I don't think I can go much longer. It's so cold, and I'm struggling to stay on my feet.</p><p>But Johnny didn't give up on me, so I'm not giving up on him.</p><p>I keep running and on one house ahead I see a porch, there's someone on it reading, maybe they have jacket or at least know where the house it. As I get closer, it all clicks.</p><p>It's a boy, dark skin, rusty converse, jean jacket, it's Johnny! I pick up the pace and Johnny turns around to see me come to a stop in front of his house. </p><p>"Ponyboy?" He asks, I shrug and smile.</p><p>"What's a king without his queen?" I ask. </p><p>"PONYBOY!" He yells. He runs off the porch and we're suddenly in a fairytale. He jumps in my arms and we hug.</p><p>"Oh Johnny I missed you so much," I whisper. </p><p>"I missed you too," he says. He kisses me and my hands go to his waist while his arms go around my neck. I don't care if Darry gets mad because I left Tulsa.</p><p>Johnny's in my arms again, kissing me, and we're in love. That's something he can never take away from me.</p><p>Ever.</p>
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<a name="section0012"><h2>12. •Johnny•</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Come inside you're soaking wet," I say once we pull away. He comes into the house but Two-Bit and Steve were still asleep. "Be quiet," I whisper closing the door. It wasn't too dark so I led Ponyboy into my room.</p><p>"Why did you run here?" I ask getting some clothes from the closet.</p><p>"Because I couldn't sleep and Soda didn't want to take me till tomorrow," he says sitting down on my bed.</p><p>"So you risk hypothermia?" </p><p>"I just wanted to see you,"</p><p>I smile and sit on his lap, "As long as it's not too cold right?" He giggles and leans closer.</p><p>"Right."</p><p>We kiss and Pony lays me down on the bed and begins kissing my jawline, everything was going smooth and loving until he took his shirt off revealing his arm. There were six lines of stitches and I already figured it out. He cut himself, I take his hand and look closer at his arm and then at Pony. He looks down and I slowly kiss each line.</p><p>"I love you, I love all of you, your mistakes, your flaws, everything." I say, he smiles and his eyes fill up. I sit up and kiss him softly while pushing him down. Tonight I'm showing Pony how much I love him. And how nothing he says or does will ever change that.</p><p>....</p><p>I wake up cuddled up with Pony and for the first time in a long one, I woke up with a smile. I kiss him softly and he slowly wakes up rubbing his eyes.</p><p>"What was that for?" He asks smiling.</p><p>"Means I love you,"</p><p>"I love you too," </p><p>We get out of bed and get dressed, Soda is not going to be happy when he finds out Pony left.</p><p>"Does Darry know you're here?" I ask.</p><p>"By now he's probably in California searching for us," I shake my head and wrap my arms around his neck.</p><p>"Always causing trouble aren't you?" He smiles and leans forward but before our lips touch a door slams open. We pull away as Two-Bit runs out picking Ponyboy up and spinning him around.</p><p>"Ponyboy's here!" He yells cheerfully, he puts him down and smiles. "Finally, another greaser, another day with these two I would've died of boredom,"</p><p>"Ponyboy!" We here Steve yell, he comes out of his room and hugs Ponyboy.</p><p>"Where're your brothers?" Two-Bit asks.</p><p>"Soda and I left without telling Darry,"</p><p>"What about Soda?" Steve asks.</p><p>"I'M RIGHT HERE!" Soda yells opening the front door. Pony hides behind me and Two-Bit.</p><p>"I'm not here," he whispers. The anger of Soda goes away when he sees Steve. They go to each other and kiss each other, their hands on each others cheeks. "Our moment was better," Pony whispers kissing my cheek. I giggle and we hold hands, I don't know when Darry is coming but I hope it isn't anytime soon. I don't know if I could let go of Pony again.</p><p>A/N: Trash chapter I know, but I wanted a mini chapter before all the drama and fights kick in, in the next chapter. And if you have any songs that you'd like to share they might get feautred and so will you!</p>
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<a name="section0013"><h2>13. °Ponyboy°</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I was with Johnny in the backyard and we were laying together looking up at the sky and we're talking about California, "I love it here, I think you would too," Johnny says smiling.</p><p>"I don't care where we are, I just need to be with you," I say propping myself up one elbow. Slowly we lean in and kiss and he puts his hand on my cheek but suddenly there's yelling.</p><p>"WHERE THE FUCK ARE THEY?" We hear, I pull away and we get up. Johnny holds onto my hand and we slowly walk back inside. I turn my head to the door and it's Darry and he's standing there angrier than ever, and Dallas is standing nervously behind him.</p><p>"Woah Darry calm down," Two-Bit says walking to him.</p><p>"Where's Soda? And where's Ponyboy?" He asks.</p><p>"I'm right here!" Soda yells coming out of Steve's room.</p><p>"What the hell is wrong with you? Have you lost your mind?!" Darry yells.</p><p>"I wanted to come see Steve!" Soda yells, Steve comes out and Soda holds onto his hand. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm in love with this amazing man right here and I missed him,"</p><p>"Well now that you've had you're reunion grab your stuff, grab Ponyboy and let's go!" Darry yells, Steve has a look of sadness and defeat but Soda's doesn't give up.</p><p>"No," He says pulling Steve closer.</p><p>"What did you say?" He asks.</p><p>"I said no, I'm 18 I don't have to listen to you, and I sure as hell don't have to live with you either. I'm staying here." Soda says.</p><p>"Fine don't come home," Darry says he finally looks at me and grabs my wrist. "We're leaving,"</p><p>"The hell you are!" Soda says grabbing my other.</p><p>"Let go of him!" Darry yells.</p><p>"Pony is staying here, with the rest of us," Soda says tugging on my arm.</p><p>"No Pony is coming back home," Darry aruges.</p><p>"He doesn't belong with you!" </p><p>"You're not his guardian!"</p><p>"I love him more than you do!"</p><p>"How dare you!"</p><p>What happened next happened so fast, Darry lets go of and punches Soda square in the face and blood drips down from his nose.</p><p>"Motherfucker!" Steve yells jumping on Darry, Darry and Steve begin fighting, and Two-Bit and Dallas break them apart. I turn to see Johnny scared and I pull him to and whisper to him. </p><p>"Don't worry about them, okay? We're okay, we're okay," I say hugging him.</p><p>"How the hell did you even get the address?" Steve asks.</p><p>"Dallas swung by here before, it was pretty easy to get him to crack," Darry answers. Dallas looks at me guiltly and mouths "sorry."</p><p>"Ponyboy is staying here, and that's final." Soda says.</p><p>"Final my ass, Ponyboy is coming with-" Darry gets cut off.</p><p>"STOP!" Two-Bit yells. He looks at me and puts his arm around my shoulders. "Ponyboy, who do YOU want to live with?" </p><p>Honestly, I have no idea, Soda supports me no matter what and he's great, but...Darry keeps me on my feet and never lets me slip. Makes sure my homework is done, tries to get me to stay healthy and eat, Darry is here for me physically, but Soda is here for me emotionally and mentally.</p><p>"I just want to be with Johnny," I say holding onto Johnny's hand, he smiles and hugs me tightly.</p><p>"Ponyboy I can't bring Johnny back-"</p><p>"Then I'm not going," I say cutting Darry off.</p><p>"But you have to stay with me, I'm your guardian-"</p><p>"Soda?" I ask.</p><p>"What is it buddy?"</p><p>"Would you fight for custody, if you needed to?" A smile appears on his face while Darry looks destroyed.</p><p>"Ponyboy..."</p><p>"I love you and Soda equally, but I need Johnny. Whether we're Tulsa or Sacramento,"</p><p>Darry looks even sadder and I take a deep breathe and walk to Johnny's room, and lay down. Johnny walks in and leans on the now closed door.</p><p>"Ponyboy?" He asks quietly.</p><p>"Hmm?" </p><p>"I love you."</p><p>"I love you too." He comes closer and sits next to me. </p><p>"And as much as I love you, you need to go back to Tulsa," In that moment, I shattered.</p><p>"Is this the end? Are you breaking up with me?" I ask. My hand and arm started shaking and my eyes began to fill.</p><p>"What? No of course not!" Johnny puts his hands on my cheeks and shakes his head. "Pony, I love you more than anything in the entire fucking world. Nothing is going to change that! Ever! But you need to go home. Soda is going to stay and he has Steve, he'll be fine, but Darry needs you, Dallas is there yeah, but he needs you. Darry will lose his fucking mind without you, please, stay with him." I sit there lifeless, what am I supposed to do? Wait until I'm 18 to be with Johnny again? I won't make it. "You can still visit, and you can stay for the whole summer, and you're already 15, what's three more years?" I stay silent and Johnny looks scared and nervous. "And I'll wait for you, because I love you so much. I love you." I don't say anything and Johnny gets more scared. "Ponyboy? A-aren't you going to say it back?" His voice is trembling and he's on the verge of crying. I love Johnny, but it just hurts too much to even say anything, so I'll just show him. I lean forward and kiss him, he smiles through the kiss, and suddenly so many memories comes to mind. </p><p>Our first kiss, the time we made out in the woods, our first I love you, our first time, and so on. Before I knew it, the door was locked and Johnny was on the bed stripped right underneath me. </p><p>I'll go back with Darry tomorrow, but today isn't about Darry, or Soda, it's about me and Johnny. And our love, thousands of miles apart, but we're still connected. And no one can change that. </p><p>....</p><p>Johnny and I were cuddled up in bed, it must've already been at least 2 a.m. </p><p>"You know sometimes I talk to the moon?" Johnny says sleepily. I giggle and kiss his cheek.</p><p>"What do you and the moon talk about?" I ask smiling.</p><p>"He talks about the sun, and I talk about you," he answers.</p><p>"Hmm maybe the four of us could go on a double date soon," I suggest. We giggle and share another kiss.</p><p>"Ponyboy?" </p><p>"Hmm?" Johnny gets out of bed and grabs something from his drawer and slips back into bed. "Close your eyes." I close them and feel something slip onto my finger. "Open them." I open them and I'm staring at a ring. "It's a promise ring, we have the same ones, so that way we're always together."</p><p>"When did you get this?"</p><p>"The day I sent you the letter,"</p><p>I kiss him again, and hold him close. "Thank you, I love you Johnny."</p><p>"I love you too."</p>
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<a name="section0014"><h2>14. •Johnny•</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Pony, Darry, and Dallas went back home that night, but not before I kissed his scars on his arm.</p><p>"Please, don't do this again," I beg. Pony smiles and kisses me softly.</p><p>"I won', I promise." He says. We hug tightly and say our goodbyes, then they're gone, I walk into my room and slowly sit down. Two-Bit comes and sits beside me.</p><p>"You know, you're a good guy for convincing Pony to go home," Two-Bit says, I shake my head and scoff.</p><p>"I already regret it."</p><p>....</p><p>That was the longest three years of my life, obviously I turned 18 before Pony but there was no way I could go back to Tulsa. I'd get killed before I could go see Pony, it's safer California, this is my home. But, so is Pony.</p><p>Pony came to stay for summers, but after a year, it wasn't enough, I wanted to always be by his side. But Pony needed to stay with Darry, and I needed to stay here. After another year, I just thought I should marry him once he's done with his senior year, but would he even want to? He still had college and I bet you anything he could find someone better, he shouldn't have to be stuck with me his- NO! Stop! P-pony loves me, maybe he wouldn't want to get married, b-but he loves, I'm sure of it.</p><p>I thought about it, maybe we could get married when he finishes college, I don't want to get in his way of his dreams. Because after all he's done for me, he deserves the world.</p><p>....</p><p>"You nervous?" Two-Bit asks while I take a seat on the couch.</p><p>"A little, yeah," I answer. Pony didn't get to stay last year for summer because Darry made him apply to a bunch of colleges, and study for his senior year. Pony and I didn't take it very well, but Darry is his guardian, so pony didn't have a choice.</p><p>I sat there for a few more minutes until the doorbell rang and my anxiety levels raised. I stand up and open the door and Pony's standing there with his bags.</p><p>"Ponybo-" Pony pulls me into a kiss and my arms go around his neck and his go around my waist. We eventually let go for air, and he smiles.</p><p>"Guess what Johnny?" He asks.</p><p>"Hm?"</p><p>"I applied to ARC, they gave me a scholarship," he answers excitedly. My eyes widen and I kiss him again, he's going to school here, it's our own perfect fairytale.</p><p>....</p><p>When we were eating dinner that night, it was all of us again, Dallas, Two-Bit, Darry, Soda, Steve, Pony, and me. We were together again.</p><p>"You Darry you should work over here, construction pays more over here," Steve says.</p><p>"You think?" Darry asks.</p><p>"Yeah, plus there isn't dumb Socs around here," Soda says.</p><p>"Yeah all the gang fights are in Compton," Two-Bit says grinning. Soda elbows him, and Steve shakes his head.</p><p>"But they're hell of a lot more violent over there then people are in Tulsa," Steve says. "It's not for you Dallas," Dallas seems curious and Darry shoots him a look.</p><p>"Don't even think about it." Darry says. Pony and I smile at each other quietly giggling. Eventually, we finished our food and Pony and I took the plates to the sink. We begin washing them, when a smile appears on Pony's face.</p><p>"I forgot, I made something for you," he says.</p><p>"Oh Pony, you didn't have to do that," I say.</p><p>"I did, it's important, and I needed to make it for you," I put the plate down and smile.</p><p>"Well then show me,"</p><p>He goes to the living where his bags are and comes back with black journal. "I wrote something for you." I take the journal and open the first few pages.</p><p>"Once upon a time, there was a smart, great looking, amazing princess, and there was her prince. They were madly in love and wanted nothing more than to just be together. So after a while, the princess made the first move and their relationship became official." I giggle and Pony tells me to keep reading. "Not everyone approved of their love, but it didn't matter, nothing could ever tear them apart. The love the prince felt for the princess was overwhelming, and he wanted something more. Something more, to show his love for the princess to the entire world. They had to become king and queen, it's just those few words, one question, that the prince had to ask for it to become." I raise an eyebrow and Pony's smile brightens. I turn the next page and in big bold letters, it says. "Will you marry me?" Then, under it, Pony must've cut through the pages because a ring is in the journal.</p><p>My eyes water and my hand goes over my mouth, Pony takes the ring out of the journal and gets on one knee. "Johnny Cade, will you marry me?" The tears go down my face and I nod.</p><p>"Yes! Yes I'll marry you!" I answer. He stands up and slips the ring on my finger, we kiss and we hear the gang cheering, and Steve hollering.</p><p>"It's about time!" Two-Bit yells.</p><p>"Hey when are you gonna put a ring on this?" Soda tells Steve. Pony and I begin giggling and Steve just rolls his eyes.</p><p>"Who said I was proposing, if Pony can, so can you," Steve says. We laugh and joke around and celebrate the rest of the day. It's official. And nothing is going to change that.</p><p>....</p><p>"And that's how your grandpa and I got together," I say sitting back. My little grandkids, Liam, Izzy, and Julia were clapping and giggling. Izzy was the oldest, she's eight, then it's the Liam who's 6, and Julia who's 5.</p><p>My other kids, Daniel who's 32, Michael who's 28, and our daughter Toni who's 25, were in the background smiling. "And all this time, I thought you and dad met at a gay bar," Michael says, Toni elbows him and the kids begin laughing.</p><p>Ponyboy, comes back in and sits beside me, "It doesn't matter how I met your dad," Pony says kissing my cheek. "Either way, I still love him."</p><p>"I want to grow old with Kumiko," Daniel mumbles.</p><p>"With enough love, I think you can," I say. Pony holds onto my hand and I look at everyone, the people I surround myself with. It was pretty hard but we actually got an old friend from Tulsa to carry the babies for us. Michael is the spitting image of Pony, and Pony claims that Daniel is identical to how I look. Toni, she's sort of a mix, my dark skin, Pony's eyes, my dark hair, Pony's height, etc.</p><p>The kids got lucky and took after Pony, "You raised a bunch of nerds," Dallas once said. I remember that day, he came over to see the kids but they were all studying.</p><p>My grandkids however have their own little trademark, olive skin, and green eyes. They're all so beautiful.</p><p>"You okay Romeo?" Pony joked, I smiled and nodded.</p><p>"I'm okay," Pony kissed my cheek once more and Michael cleared his throat and lifted his glass.</p><p>"To another 40 years of marriage!" He said, I shook my head and raised an eyebrow.</p><p>"That's if we can make it that long!" I joked. They laughed and started talking amongst themselves again, and the kids began running around.</p><p>"I know I can last as long as possible with you, my love," Pony says sweetly. I smile and kiss him.</p><p>"I love you Pony,"</p><p>"I love you too Johnny."</p><p>And that's a wrap! If you have ships or writing prompts you want me to write stories about go ahead and comment below. Thank you to everyone read or voted, it means a lot and I'm very grateful. I'm sure in the near future I'll think of another Pony x Johnny story. So keep an eye out for that, and I guess I'll see you guys later!</p>
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<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Thank You Note</h2></a>
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    <p>Thank you, you have reached the end of the story and I deeply appreciate you taking the time to read this piece.</p><p>Use the page for any last thoughts, suggestions, ideas, or questions. I will from now on being using this page to communicate with you all.</p><p>To further spread my work and account, and to also accommodate some of you, this story is available on Tumblr, and Wattpad.</p><p>Feel free to read any of my other stories on this account, I tend to write a lot about different things that I really like, that I hope you like too. Thank you for support and time. Love you!</p><p>Follow my social media:</p><p>Insta: @poweroverdrive</p><p>Twitter: @poweroverdrive_</p><p>Tumblr: @poweroverdrive</p><p>Wattpad: @poweroverdrive</p>
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